As parents, you are the primary discipler of your child. That is not to say that church and others have an impact on your child, but God has called and entrusted your kids’ spiritual health and foundation to you. Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way they should go and when they are old they will not depart from it.” This is of utmost importance for all parents. More than your child learning to kick a soccer ball, throw a baseball, perform a ballet dance, etc.. I pray your child knows Jesus, has character, integrity, confidence and a spiritual foundation in the Lord.
Having raised three children, here are some suggestions to help you in this process:
1. Have spiritual conversations with your children. So often our kids have spiritual questions. They ask things like, “Where is heaven?,” “How big is God?” or “What happened to the dinosaurs?” Instead of ignoring these questions, have a discussion with them. You can say, “I don’t know all the answers, but here are some thoughts or I will get back to you.” Talk with your child about spiritual questions, and they will feel the freedom of continuing to ask. If you avoid the questions, then they won’t ask anymore – they will retreat to their room and look for answers online. Be bold and step into spiritual conversations.
2. Prioritize church. At Rolling Hills, we are blessed to have amazing preschool, kids and student ministries. Having your kids at church matters. They hear spiritual truth and wisdom. They hear other adults reinforce what you say at home. Think about this: Where will your kids hear about Jesus, morals, ethics, integrity and character if not from you and church? At public school? The internet? Social media? You and I desperately need other godly adults speaking into our kid’s lives. And, they need to be around other kids who love Jesus and make good choices.
3. Pray with your children. Every night I come into my kids’ rooms, place my hand on them and say a prayer. I have done this since they were born. Sometimes it is a longer prayer if someone is sick or there is something specific they want to pray for and other times it is shorter. But, every night I end the prayer with “God, I pray you will give them joy, laughter and confidence. I pray they will be strong, wise and make good decisions. And, I pray they always know You love them and their daddy loves them.” Even when I am traveling, I will FaceTime or call in to pray over them. If I am late coming to their room, then they will come find me :). This is such a special time!
4. Pay them to read books. I wrote about this in another blog post, and I had people emailing me what books I gave my kids to read, so here are the top 12 books (there are others, but this is a good start). I pay them $20 a book – two a year from middle school to high school graduation. Not all of them are Christian books, but this allows for some good discussion with them: The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren Love Does by Bob Goff How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie What’s So Amazing About Grace by Philip Yancey Foundations in Personal Finance (Middle School / High School edition) Leaders Eat Last by Simon Sinek Gentle & Lowly by Dane Ortlund Good to Great by Jim Collins Winning the War in Your Mind by Craig Groeschel Seven Habits of Highly Effective People (Teen edition) by Steven Covey Immeasurably More by their dad 🙂 Eyes on Jesus by their dad 🙂
5. Discipleship is more caught than taught. Even more than talking with your kids, having them read books or even praying with them, they will watch what you do. They will see how you prioritize your faith. They will listen to how you pray. They will watch how you treat your spouse. They will process how you respond to adversity. They will model what they see in you. So, love Jesus. Do your quiet time with the Lord at the kitchen table or in the living room where they can see you reading your Bible and on your knees praying. Let them see you worship on Sunday mornings and watch you serve. They will understand what you value, and this will set a foundation for them for the rest of their lives. Remember, you are impacting generations, so lead, love and disciple your kids in the Lord. This is your one opportunity, and it goes fast. Be intentional. The Lord is with you, and I am praying for you. God entrusted your kids to you. This is your time, so disciple them and love them well.