We will all face grief in our life. Maybe you are even facing grief today. Grief comes when we experience a loss. This could be the passing of a loved one. The loss of a grandparent, friend, parent or co-worker. And, there is nothing more heartbreaking than the loss of a child. Grief can also come with the loss of a relationship – a divorce or breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend. We can also experience grief in the loss of a job. Or, even in the loss of a dream. There are many ways that we experience loss and knowing how to handle grief is so important for our mental health and spiritual maturity.
This past Sunday was Mother’s Day. And, while Mother’s Day is a great day of celebration, it can also be a time of grief. For my wife, Lisa, her mom went home to be with Jesus 14 years ago – and yet, Lisa still misses her. Mother’s Day is always so special for Lisa with our children, but it also is hard because Lisa thinks of her mom. For many, Mother’s Day brings similar feelings. Whether it is the loss of our mom physically or being separated emotionally, or even the grief of wanting children and not being able to have children. Maybe it is being distant from our own children because of their decisions. Mother’s Day brings joy, but also grief and pain.
Someone once said, “We are all either in a crisis, coming out of a crisis or going into a crisis.” We will all experience hurt and loss in our life. So, how do we deal with grief in a healthy way when it comes? Being prepared will not only help us move forward in these times of crisis, it will also help protect those around us from the waves of emotions that will consume us.
Amy Alexander is the Executive Director of the Refuge Counseling Center and Kathy Koon is our Rolling Hills Staff Counselor. This past Sunday, these two amazing women of God talked about how to deal with grief when it comes in our life. This was such a powerful talk and something that will help us all in our walk with the Lord and in our relationship with others. I’ve included this short 10-minute video below. I encourage you to watch and be encouraged that God is with us even in our darkest times.
As Amy mentions, there are the traditional five stages (or stations) of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. These come in all grief situations. Yet, there is this sixth stage that has been added. It is this, Finding Meaning. Sometimes we can become stuck in a certain stage of grief. While it is normal to move in and out of the stage, we must keep moving forward. Grief can take years to process and work through. We must keep moving and allow God to work in our life. Some can even become stuck in acceptance, but again we must move forward to find the meaning in our grief. This may take years, but at some point, we turn our misery into our ministry. This can be helping someone else one-on-one as they walk through grief in their own life. Knowing God is with us in this broken world allows us to move forward and minister to others.
Whatever grief you are facing today, please know God is with you and you have a church family that is with you. If you feel stuck and need professional help, then reach out to the Refuge Center where they have over 70 therapists on staff. In addition, you can reach out to Kathy Koon at kathy.koon@rollinghills.church as well. Whatever you are going through today, always know you are not alone. You are loved! God is with you through it all, so let’s keep growing deeper in Christ, and let’s keep moving forward in our joy and grief.